Make It Happen

Of all my New Years Resolutions that I listed in todays earlier post, which one would make me feel the best about accomplishing. Take an action within 48 hours to accomplish this resolution.

New Years Resolutions

Write down my New Years Resolutions and 3 action steps for each of the resolutions. Having a plan will help make it work.

Now For The Good Stuff

Now that I have taken the time to write and think about the things that didn't work so well for me last year, I'd like to focus on what I liked about this past year. Write it all down in my gratitude journal and then feel the feelings of gratitude for all that I have seen, learned, accomplished and enjoyed.

Making Changes

Having done today's challenge of listing what has not worked this past year or what things I wished had a different outcome, I need to figure out what changes I need to make this year. I want to improve myself and make the changes necessary to live my life on my terms. Write down these changes in my gratitude journal and act on them.

What's Not Working

Since New Years resolutions are right around the corner, I thought I'd reflect on what didn't work so well for me this past year. Right away I know that even though I am great at walking during the summer, I don't continue to exercise the other 3 seasons.
I will think and write about the things that I wish I'd done differently or had a different outcome this past year.

Get Organized

Clean out my handbag and wallet. My shoulder and back are causing me a lot of pain and my purse is getting heavier and heavier. There is so much stuff in there that I am always feeling disorganized and misplacing things. I will lessen my stress by organizing my purse and wallet.

Merry, Merry

In my gratitude journal, write 3 things that made me merry. On days like today, sometimes my expectations are more than others can deliver. If I can remember that, it is much easier to focus on the merry.

Comfort And Joy

Answer the question, “What brings me comfort and joy?”. I hope to focus on the positive of this season as there is lot to be joyous about.

With Their Eyes All Aglow

When someone gives you a gift say thank you. It doesn't matter if you like it, be gracious as they took the time to give the gift to you. Many of us have received gifts that we have thought this had to be re-gifted because no one would ever buy it, but I guess someone had to be the first to buy. We are different people with different tastes. It is true that sometimes giving a gift is an after thought, but the thought was still there.

Be kind and be gracious. It is a gift to receive.

Season Of Giving

A friend once said to me that many people approach giving from a place of scarcity rather than from a place of abundance. This statement resonated with me because I've always worried about money. Over the last few years, my ideas about giving have changed. I feel good about giving more and I give it gratefully. I focus more on the good the money will do rather than on what I am giving up.

It took awhile to get to this place, but I like being here.

Dashing Through The Snow

Slow down. Enjoy the beauty around me. Here in the NorthEast there are evergreens sparkling with ice, snowmen on front lawns, and flocks of blackbirds sitting and squawking on telephone wires.

There is much to be grateful for.

Laughing All The Way

Create a list that I can tap into when I need a laugh or I need to turn a negative mood into a positive mood. Do one of the items on the list.

My list would include watching an episode of a favorite sitcom, watching a funny movie, blowing bubbles, and singing in the shower at the top of my lungs.

Deck The Halls

Add beauty to my home. I could bring evergreens or pine cones inside, frame a family picture and place it in a room. I've always enjoyed my children's art work so maybe I'll bring some of it out for display. I can see my refrigerator now.

Joy To The World

What joy did I experience this past year? Feel grateful for the experience of joy and write about it in my journal.

All I Want For Christmas Is...

Finish the statement, All I want for Christmas is...

Update: Health, love, family and happiness

Do You Hear What I Hear

Listen to the sounds of love and joy around you. Listen to the appreciative comments. Cherish them and use them to remind you how wonderful you are.

It's A Wonderful Life

What difference have I made in the lives of others? Write it down in my gratitude journal.

Tis The Season

Tis the season to be jolly... Keep a positive, happy outlook on life. Practice being jolly.

Mantra Of Joy

Repeat this mantra throughout my day:
I have a joyous, healthy, wealthy life that is filled with family and friends that love me.

Looking At Success

When I paint a picture of myself being successful, what does it look like? Visualize it and write about it. It needs to be positive, powerful, and wonderful.

Honor My Emotions

As a child and youth, I wasn't allowed to feel unhappy or angry. We had depression in my family. The fear was if I showed this type of emotion, then I must have this illness also. It was a tough thing for me not being able to show sadness or even anger in my family. It was unhealthy and abnormal. Now I will honor my emotions and my feelings whatever they may be.

I'm Listening

Listen as if the person talking to you is telling you something of utmost importance. I always feel great when someone is listening to me as if I have something of value to say to them.

I Need Some Sleep

I've read that sleep deprivation is linked to depression, obesity, hypertension, type 2 diabetes and heart disease. It is also linked to irritability, less effective memory retention, impatience and moodiness. There are also a lot of us admitting to falling asleep while driving or if not that, at least driving while exhausted. Am I really showing appreciation for my health by sleeping so poorly night after night? Isn't it about time that I gave myself the respect I deserve? You bet.

I am going to try to sleep at least 7 hours a night.

Enjoy The Experience

Slow down. Take the time to listen...smell....see...feel...and, if appropriate,...taste. Enjoy the experience and once again, be in the moment.

Looking At Life While Drinking A Glass That's Half Full

I was in NYC at the train station a few weeks ago. We heard a dog barking fairly close in the building. I counted 6 police officers all running past us toward the barking sound. I turned to my husband and said, “Great, the bad guys planted a dog over there to lure the police away and then they're going to come and do their bad stuff.” It's terrible how cynical I am.

Be intentional about not being cynical. It's one of those lessons on looking at things from a positive place rather than a negative place.

Mood Shifter

Music is a mood shifter. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of music on my Ipod. There is a lot of music out there that can really bring you down as there is music that can put a smile on your face. I will be intentional about making lists of music that will shift my mood to the positive.

Eyes Wide Open

I will be intentional about looking at the possibilities rather than letting my brain put breaks on them. I sometimes lack confidence in myself and those doubts stop me from accomplishing what I want to do.

A Joyous Life

Pick one thing that I can do to create a more beautiful and joyous life for myself. Then do it.

What I'm Not So Good At

Write a list of my weaknesses in my gratitude journal.

Update: It is important to me to face my weaknesses and either become comfortable with them or figure out a way to improve upon them. I'll probably do a combination of the two.

I am grateful for the opportunity to learn about myself and to grow with the knowledge.

What I'm Good At

Write a list of my strengths and gifts in my gratitude journal.

Update: Writing positively about myself is definitely ego boosting. Try it.

Be Comfortable With My Age.

Not only do I need to accept my age, but also to celebrate my age. With age comes wisdom and good stories.

Redirect Negative People

Redirect people when they are being negative. I can ask them what do you want or ask them to tell you something good that has happened to them today at work etc. I have found these to be a complaint stopper when people get on a negativity kick.

Stretching Myself

Do one thing today that takes me out of my comfort zone.

Ownership Of My Health

About a month ago I was diagnosed with Osteopenia. This is often a precursor to Osteoporosis. My bone density is less than a healthy density, but it's not as severe as osteoporosis. My doctor told me I needed to take 1200mg of calcium per day, 800 IUs to 1000 IUs of Vitamin D per day, and do weight bearing exercise 5 times per week. I always thought of myself as a healthy eater. I was already walking 5 times per week, doing hand weight exercises 3 times per week and taking 1000mgs of calcium per day. Since I felt like I was already doing everything right and it didn't help, I stopped everything.

Now it is time for me to take control of my health again. I researched calcium and it turns out I was taking a form that needed to be taken with food or an acid drink such as orange juice. That wasn't mentioned on my calcium supplement, but now I know. Tomorrow, I will go out and buy a calcium citrate supplement with Vitamin D added. I will walk and do my weights. I will come up with a plan to incorporate calcium into my diet by eating calcium rich foods.

I am getting back on track to live a healthy life.

Thankful

I will spend the next week writing daily in my journal about 1 thing I am thankful for. I will write about things that I have not written about since I started on my journey of gratitude.

Update:Day 1 – I am thankful for heat on this very cold day.
Day 2 – I am thankful for moisturizer to counter the effects of wonderful, indoor heat.
Day 3 – I am thankful for leftovers for dinner after an 11 hour workday.
Day 4 – I am thankful for Christmas carols. I'm sorry, but I adore them.
Day 5 – I am thankful I remembered to slow down and enjoy this time with my daughters.
Day 6 – I am thankful for the opportunity to put on the brakes, breath, appreciate all the positive aspects of my daughter's misadventures and all the good decisions she made.
Day 7 – I am thankful for the opportunity and gift of hugging and telling the people I love how grateful I am to have them in my life.

Thanksgiving and Gratitude

The anticipation of the day, company, family and all sorts of yummy food to eat. Preparing the menu.
greeted by the smell of turkey cooking all day. An apple pie baking in the oven. Laughter in the kitchen as my girls help me prepare the big meal. The backdrop of the Macy's parade and all the oversized balloon caricatures making their way down the crowded avenues. The words of thanks from all of us sitting around the dinner table. The blessings of being surrounded by family and friends. Thoughts and feelings of gratitude and love.

What are you thankful and grateful for?

Thanksgiving and Blessings

Remember to be thankful to be surrounded by family and good friends. Overlook the negative feelings that family can sometimes evoke and instead bask in the delight of having people that care about us in our life.

Abundance

I am thankful for the abundance of food, family, friends and for shelter, clothing and warmth. I am keeping in my heart and thoughts, hope for those not so fortunate at this time and a wish for abundance in their near future.

Thankful For All Of You

Tomorrow, my eldest daughter will be home until Sunday. I am blessed. My middle daughter came home last Friday, had her wisdom teeth pulled today and is feeling well considering. My youngest finished her college essay and is ready to send in her college applications. Can life get better than this? Who cares as I am blessed to have my healthy family home, beautiful, happy and safe.

I will not wait until Thanksgiving to tell my family how grateful I am to have them in my life. Look out guys, hugs are coming.

Tough People, Good People

Look for the goodness in every person. For a challenge, look for the goodness in the people that challenge us.

Update: This is a tough one. The people that challenge me are hard for me to be around. When I am with them, I spend my time trying to practice patience.

Update: This was my 272nd activity on my journey to living a life of gratitude and I have to admit that I'm not there yet. When trying to be accepting and few genuine positiveness about those that have caused me tremendous grief in my life, I fail each time. I guess I need to continue to work on looking for the good in those I find most difficult. Oh well.. I'll need to come up with more activities that bring me further into my discomfort zone.

Don't Put Off Till Tomorrow

There are several lessons I talked about doing this week that I have not completed. These are: Evaluating my priorities and making sure it coincides with having no regrets and secondly is to make a change that will help me live in the moment. I need to do these two important lessons, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to do them.

I need to put fear aside and be intentional about completing a task that I have started.

Won't You Be My Neighbor

While cleaning out my closet, I came across an old friend. It is the book, The World According To Mister Rogers. I am going to reread this quick book. As I recall, it is a book filled with wisdom and gratitude.

Read a book about gratitude, grace, wisdom or daily meditations.

Having No Regrets

I attended the wake of the spouse of a coworker, neighbor and friend. It was particularly hard because this man and this couple could have been my husband and us. The age is the same, the marriage length is the same, the love for family and nature are the same. The joy of their time together and their harmony and even keeled personalities are the same. It hit close to home. Is life about always working to pay for college educations, cars, home, etc.? Can I fit in living for today and also continue to be the responsible person I've always been? How do we have no regrets?

Evaluate my priorities and make sure it coincides with having no regrets.

Be Kind To Myself

I am going to be kind to myself by giving myself a break. I will not be critical of myself. It is time for me to look at the positive side of who and what I am.

Anytime that negative voice starts talking to me, I will kindly remind myself that I am good person that has much to be grateful for.

Speaking Pleasantly

Do you ever notice that when a person is speaking sharply to you, that you bristle or get turned off? And, that when someone talks nicely and calmly, that you are more receptive to that person. Our tone sets up how people react to us.

Be intentional about using a pleasant voice all day long.

Make It Better

In Girl Scouts, we had a motto that you always left a place better than you found it. I like that idea and will modify it slightly by being intentional about leaving a situation better than I found it.

Practicing Graciousness

Choose a gracious quality I am really good at and do it over and over again. If I am a great listener, then I will be the best listener all day long. If I am great at giving complements, then that is what I will spend my day doing. Build on the quality I do really well and see what happens.

Other ideas are saying hello and good morning, being positive, not talking negatively about anyone, being nice, smiling and being courteous. For more ideas I can refer back to earlier postings.

Living For Today

My husband and I each went to a different wake this week where the spouse of a coworker passed away. One man was in his early 50s and the other man was in his early 40s. Their lives were taken way too early and it has caused me to be reflective of my own life, values and priorities. Would I have regrets about how I've been living, if my life was turned upside down?

I will make one change in my life so that I am living in the moment. There is nothing wrong with planning for emergencies, retirements, children's colleges, weddings etc., but I'm thinking I need to make sure I am also doing something for myself, husband and family now.

Opening My Eyes

Life is not made of only black and white. I will try to not see everything as strictly right or wrong, but rather allow for some color and some variations in what I think is acceptable.

Update: Not being so rigid in how I view right and wrong is allowing me to open my heart and be more forgiving.

The Feel Of Autumn

I love the feel of crunching leaves in my hand and wrapping myself up in a soft, snuggly afghan. The cold morning wind blowing on my face is another autumn delight. Other touch sensations I enjoy include the dripping of juice from a freshly peeled clementine and the heat on my hands flowing from the vents of a newly turned on heater. I am grateful to have taken the time to recall these memories.

There are many small treasures to be thankful for if we just take the time to smell, listen, see, taste, and touch. Thank you autumn.

Eye See Autumn

In the northeast, I associate the reds, yellows and oranges of the turning leaves with Autumn. I also love the sight of the leaves gently falling down to the ground and watching the squirrels foraging for acorns for their winter stash. I also enjoy the swarming of a multitude of blackbirds gathering on lawns and then suddenly taking off to fly to another special spot. As the weather gets nippier, the skies appear grayer, the deer graze closer to the house in their search for food and the wind whips the dry leaves in a tornado like fashion. Oh what wonderful sights!

The Taste Of Autumn

With the days getting chillier and the night skies arriving earlier, I crave the taste of warm bread fresh from the oven and delicious, slow cooked soups. I also start to think about the licorice taste of fennel I so often associate with my childhood Thanksgivings. Other fall tasty delights for me are oranges, pomegranates, clementines and fresh, crisp, locally grown apples. Also, the baked delights of apple pie and pumpkin pie. My mouth is watering now.

The Sounds Of Autumn

I am grateful for the sense of hearing and will record some of these sounds in my gratitude journal. For instance, in Fall I am grateful for the sound of dry leaves crunching under my hiking boots, fans cheering in a football stadium, a hockey puck as it makes contact with a field hockey stick and children talking as they walk to school.

Autumn Scents

As I did with summer in August, I want to remember and appreciate my 5 senses. I am grateful for all the scents of Autumn. In my gratitude journal I will record some of my favorite smells I associate with Fall such as the earthy smell released as the dry, fallen leaves crush under my shoes, the smokey scent of wood burning in the fireplace and the aroma of soup cooking on the stove. Yummy!

Health, Here You Come

One of my main values is my health. When I'm not intentional about being healthy, I physically feel off. I need to get a handle on my health. My doctor has told me that I need to increase the amount of calcium I get from my meals and continue taking calcium as a supplement. It turns out that calcium is a tough mineral to absorb. For me, eating healthy is an important step on the way to having better health.

Create a plan for a weeks worth of healthy meals and snacks and buy what is necessary to implement the meals.

With An Open Mind

Don't make assumptions about others intentions, rather observe their actions and listen to their words with an open mind.

Being Positive

Always find something nice to say. When asked for an opinion, no matter what, be positive in my response. Look for the good in everything.

Every Day Is A Gift

Wake up tomorrow and say, “Thank you for this beautiful day.” Feel the beauty of the day and know in my heart that today is a gift. I am so appreciative for another day to live, dream and to be.

Who Am I?

Answer the question, “What am I passionate about?”. Write the answers in my gratitude journal.

Nice Begets Nice.

Be the nicest person in the room today. Notice how people respond to the niceness. Do they respond in a way that brings a smile to my face?

I Think I Can, I Think I Can, I Can

Remove I can't from my thoughts and replace it with I can. It's amazing to me how many times I talk myself out of trying something new because of fearing I will fail. I've had enough of that kind of thinking and am replacing it with believing in myself.

Note how many times today I make the can't to can switch.

Be The Possible

Ghosts, goblins, witches and pumpkins. Princesses, fairies, vampires and skeletons. Use my imagination to dream about the possible. I can be, do, feel whatever I want. On this Halloween as I enjoy the children in their costume, I'll get to work on deciding my reality based on my dreams.

Remember Grace

When confronted with what feels like insanity, I will remember to respond with graciousness.

Comfortable In My Own Skin

Accept myself for who I am rather than blaming myself for who I am not.

Try, Try Again

Since work is getting me down, I will spend my work day finding reasons to be grateful for my job. It will remind me to focus on all the good stuff throughout my day rather than the not so good.

All You Need Is Love

One of my top values is love. That made me think about some questions: Do I love leaving for work in the morning? Do I love how I spend my money? Do I show my family how much I love them and is there someway I can show them even more how much I love them? Do I love how I spend my free time? Do I love how much/little I see my friends? What changes do I need to make to love aspects of my life even more? What changes can I make immediately that will lead me on the road to a greater love for the life I am living now?

First step is to answer the above questions and then come up with 1 or 2 changes I can make to lead me down the road to greater and more joyful love.

Living My Values

I will revisit my values that I originally listed on May 14, 2010 in the exercise titled Values. What Values?. I need to be intentional with living my values and not just assuming I am. I want to think about what is happening in my life and weigh it against my values, dreams and goals. The question I will ask myself is am I living my values.

Say Yes To What Is Important To Me

I now make decisions based on whether or not my choice fits in with my value system. I don't feel like I'm saying no anymore but rather that I'm saying yes to what I really want. This is very empowering. I needed this reminder today as to why I've made the choice to take on so much extra work and now it has changed my attitude for the better.

Be intentional with making decisions based on whether it fits in with your goals and values.

A Note Of Thanks

Write a note to anyone you chose and thank them for something they did whether it is small or big.

Healthy Living

I received a less than great report on my recent bone density scan. Here are the recommendations I was given: weight bearing exercise – 5 days per week, increase calcium and vitamin D intake, exercise with weights, get more of my calcium from food.

I will make a healthy choice and incorporate it into my day. I'm also not going to be hard on myself if I can't do all these things immediately or consistently. I'm going to try, but I work hard and long hours to contribute to child number 2 and 3s college education.

Update: I started by adding free weights and abs exercises to my week 3 times a week. Next week I hope to add walking a mile a day.

It's Not Fair

Yesterday I wrote “We are all different and I can't make others respond as I would.” This was so timely. I had volunteered to put a schedule together at work. As I gathered the information, there was such a fear from the people that would be part of the schedule, that they would be cheated if I did not take into consideration certain facts. Now what was being pointed out was true, but all these deviations would have made the schedule very, very difficult to put together. My feeling was who cares if you have 1 or 2 extra days during the year where you are doing a more difficult task or someone may have 1 or 2 days extra where they are doing an easier task. I was even willing to take the extra difficult days. The problem was that each person differed as to what would be make the schedule fair. By the end of the day, I decided not to put the schedule together as I didn't feel I could satisfy anyone. What I believe is that some of us are very concerned about being cheated and can't see beyond that and this really surprised me.

My husband said, “Aren't you glad you don't have to live your life like that?: Always being angry at real or perceived slights.” Wise man my husband.

You're Not The Same As Me?

Today someone had told me how she asked another person a question without thinking about how hurtful it could be. Her question did end up hurting this other person's feelings and she told her that. The original person felt it was the other person's fault for being overly sensitive.

I'm not sure what to do with this experience, but it seems ungracious to me. I just don't understand how, at times, we don't get that our words can be hurtful. We all have different life experiences that may make us more susceptible to certain comments. I don't understand why she just didn't apologize and let her know that she didn't mean to say something hurtful. We are all different and I can't make others respond as I would. I guess that is my lesson to learn.

Lesson In Appreciation

Take nothing for granted. Someone else cooks dinner, thank you. They share a snack with me, thank you. They buy the paper for me. Thank you. They say good morning to me, “Good morning to you.”

This is an exercise of being fully immersed in appreciating everything, no matter how small it may seem. The small acts can positively change my day, so I am going to learn to be very observant and practice being very appreciative.

Being Gracious

Today I walked home from work. On my way, I was passed by one person that I felt was determined to chase me off the road with his car. As I continued on, I passed a couple walking two dogs coming towards me on the sidewalk. My first thought was they were taking up the whole sidewalk and gave no signs of moving over. My second thought, was that the right thing to do is move over myself so that they wouldn't have to change theirs or their dogs walking pattern. In the end, it felt right to move onto the street for the dog walkers and great to quickly dismiss any negative feelings initially generated by the driver.

Today's walk was a reminder that it is important for me to be not worry about others doing the right thing, but for me to be gracious and do what feels good. Being gracious builds upon itself to make me feel even more positive.

Instead of worrying about what others are doing, I will focus on being gracious and having that feed my positiveness.

Dreams and Gratitude

Yes, dream for tomorrow, but live in gratitude and joy for what I have now! It seems too easy to forget about the good stuff that's happening in my life and instead to focus on what I don't have. I believe it is healthy for me to have dreams and to set about making those dreams happen. But, it is also important for me to appreciate all that I have in my life.

What Do I Want?

Stop focusing on what others are doing to me and what others are saying about me. Instead, focus on me and what I'm doing and what I'm saying. Once again, focus on the question what do I want. I'm realizing that it is too easy to be distracted and have my thoughts and actions directed elsewhere.

Who Will I Be

I came across this quote of Mahatma Gandhi: “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”

I will ask myself what I want to happen in my life. What do I want?

Update: If I'm a product of my thoughts, then what I think about needs to be positive and focused on the good in my life.

Got Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed

Have you ever had one of those days? You woke up on the wrong side of the bed. You stubbed your toe. The shower water never got hot. You just knew the day was going to be a bad one. Do not let these negative thoughts consume you and take hold of your thinking. Expunge them from your head and replace them with positive thoughts. Let humor replace the negativity and be happy with your life.

Remember to refocus your thoughts on what you do have.

Be Happy For This Moment

I love watching The Suze Orman Show and Till Debt Do Us Part on Saturday evenings. I like being in control of my finances and continue to learn something when I watch these 2 shows. Last night on Till Debt one of the clients made a comment about her spending. The finance guru called her out on her language and said that her statement was a problem because she was talking about denying herself rather than being happy with what she has.

That is a good reminder to be happy with what I have rather than feeling like I am denying myself with the stuff I don't have. Being happy with what I have will be my intention for the day.

Feeling Desperate

I've been feeling desperate lately: How do I pay for college? I need a new job. I have no energy. My health is a little off.

You understand where I'm coming from? My life feels out of control. I wasn't able to do the previous exercise of creating an action plan to make a positive change in my life. I don't feel like I have the power to make this change. I'm going to step back and remember what brings me happiness in my life and hope this will give me the power to move forward with confidence.

Create a list in my gratitude journal of the people, places and things that bring happiness and joy into my life.

Update: I had a lot to write about. My life is wonderful and this activity reminded me that I have a lot to be grateful and joyous about. It is important for me to stay focused on all that I have to be thankful for.

Making A Change

I need a change. Since life is full of possibilities, now is the time to believe this and create an action plan to set about making a positive change.

I Am Beautiful

Repeat the mantra, “I am beautiful!”, throughout my day. Tell others they are beautiful too.

We are all beautiful, but how often do we feel just the opposite. It is time I reminded myself and others that we are beautiful!

Safe Space

Create or find a safe space for yourself. My safe space is the right side corner of my deck. I sit on the bench with my feet laying across the bench reading a book, journaling or daydreaming. It helps make me calm and centered. Now that the weather is getting colder, I need to find a winter safe space. This will be a place that I go to as often as possible, hopefully daily, to rejuvenate.

This place needs to be a space that I associate with positive feelings.

Change Comes From Within

Any change that I make has to come from within myself. Trying to change someone else is futile. Trying to make someone neat, organized, more studious, or more sensitive is not going to work. The other person needs to want this change for it to happen.

Look For The Good

Find the good in other people, especially those that aren't our favorites. There is always something positive lurking in even the most negative of people and I'm going to find it.

We Are Unique

Don't assume others feel and think the same as me. It drives me crazy when people feel I have the same politics as them because of where I live or that my faith is the same because they can not see beyond their own or that I share their prejudices because that is what they know. Am I silent when I should speak out? I hope not. As I have gotten older, I have not become confrontational but, I have learned to ask the questions that, hopefully, will make others think and no longer assume that we share the same thoughts and feelings.

Empathy, It's A Good Thing

It really pays to complement people. I was working with someone that was in a very unhappy place, but she was doing an exceptional job at work. She was new to our group. I listened to what was upsetting her. I empathized and then I let her know that she was a rock star as far as the work I was seeing her doing and what a wonderful addition she was to our group. And she was a wonderful addition. She seemed more relaxed the next day. Though her situation did not change, I hope that knowing how much we appreciate her made her feel welcome and accepting of this change. I understand why she is unhappy and hope that what things will work out for her and she knows I feel that way.

You Are Great

I've really gotten into letting people know how how much I appreciate their kindness, talents, helpfulness, friendship, competence, positiveness and everything else about them there is to appreciate. You know it really feels good. Try it.

Let people know that you care about them.
Let people know how wonderful they are.
Complement, complement, complement!

I Believe

Approach my day believing it will be a great day. Approach my day as if all will work out the way I expect it to and it will be for the best. That means that I can't have a defeatist attitude and I have to leave negativity at the door. My day will be awesome.

Putting My Priorities In Order

I am the kind of person that volunteers, puts others first, has minimal time for enjoying the company of my friends because I'm busy saving my piece of the world? I've been this person for many years, but now I've decided to change my priorities. I've always tried to put my family first and now I am going to add myself and my friends to my high priority list. I've been cutting back on my volunteering over the last year, but I haven't put my friends and their companionship back on the top of my list.

I will be intentional about making a date with a friend.

Focus On The Positive

It's easy to fixate about the not so great things happening with my job situation right now. It makes me feel pretty negative and have a defeatist attitude. When these feelings start, I am going to ask myself, “What is one good thing that happened at work today?” or “What is one good thing about my job?” Hopefully, this will help me to focus on the positive.

Thank You For All You Do

I was at a beautiful memorial service today. The stories that were told by family and friends were funny, happy, charming and loving. She was a hero to her children. It made me wonder if I've been proactive about telling people how much I appreciate them. Have I told my parents how grateful I am to them for our home, college expenses, and all the other ways they've done for me.

I want to be intentional with telling people how much I appreciate what they have done for me and continue to do for me. When someone does something for me, I will let them know right away how grateful I am to have them in my life and how thankful I am for what they did for me.

Grateful For Natures Treasures

I've been enjoying the full moon the last few nights. The intense, yellow color in all its fullness is spectacular to me. Since tomorrow is Saturday and gorgeous weather is expected, I am going to explore nature and find some of the treasures she so graciously shares with us.

Believe In Myself

I have the ability to turn things around. When someone tells me, “You can't do that.”, “You'll never win.” or “Your wasting your time.”, I need to remind myself by saying out loud or in my head, “Of course I can.” Lately, I've been my own worst critic and I've had enough. I'm going to adopt the attitude of “Yes, I can.” “I will succeed.” “Who wouldn't value my expertise.”

I will be intentional about believing in myself and writing in my gratitude journal about my Yes I Can attitude.

The Weight Of The World On My Shoulders

I'm one of those people that feels deeply when I see an injustice, minor or major. When I see something that is wrong, I feel the need to try to fix it or at least fixate on it. A change is in order. Now when I see or feel an injustice that doesn't impact me or the world around me, I'm going to let it go. There is no reason to take on the problems of those around me, especially when it is beyond my control and in many cases, beyond everyone's control.

A Dream Come True

My husband was asked to join a band a few months ago that he has admired for years. Saturday they played their first gig together. My husband was in heaven. I have never seen anyone play with the kind of contentment and joy expressed so openly on their face as he did. It was a beautiful sight to behold. Now he has worked hard over the years to perfect his playing. He has played with a variety of bands and musicians every opportunity he could. He has been in several groups and duos always practicing, perfecting and playing. His hard work was evident to all of us that have followed his musical progression over the years. Your there baby.

When you have a dream, work hard to make your dream a reality. Take classes, practice, learn, read or whatever you can do to achieve your dream. I will be intentional with creating a plan to further my dreams and to start putting that plan in place.

Update: I signed up for 2 workshops that I hope will help me along the journey to my dream.

Oh, What A Beautiful Morning

What one thing in my life makes me deliriously happy?
When I wake up tomorrow, I will wake up very positive because I have this deliriously happy thing/person in my life. I will bring this thought of joy back all day long.

Make a Difference

Do something that will make a difference in the world or in your piece of the world. Use your time, talent and treasure to give back to an organization or charitable event that is meaningful to you.

Update: I found being president of my congregation to be transformative. Not only do I now have an in depth understanding of the financial, volunteer time, and volunteer talent commitment to run our organization, I also am appreciative of all the good that a group of committed people can do to positively impact their piece of the world.

There's Always Hope

I need to remain hopeful at a time when I'm feeling trapped. I need to focus on the positive of my situation and let go anything that I can let go.

Grateful For Me Again

This exercise was previously done on April 7th, 2010 and titled Grateful For Me.

Write a list of 5 traits I like about myself in my gratitude journal and they need to be different from the first time I did this exercise.

Update: I've been going through a somewhat difficult time and I found it empowering to remember 5 strong traits about myself. I needed that.

Practicing Compassion

I will work on showing compassion when it is appropriate. It feels like a good skill for me to practice and get better at.

Gratitude Is A Good Thing

I am going to practice gratitude by thinking about a person, a place, or an event that makes me feel joyful. I will write this item down on an index card and put it in my pocket and glance at the card periodically. I hope to bring back this happy memory all day long.

Update: There is a place in Alaska that I use as my happy place when I meditate. My husband and I went there over 20 years ago and took this hike up a mountain that went by an old, abandoned gold mining area. When we got to the top, I could hardly breath from the beauty that surrounded me. As I spun myself slowly in every direction, there were hills of mountains that went on forever. The rock we stopped to eat our lunch on was by a carpet of these dainty, alpine wildflowers. About 30 feet from this spot was a glacier. Everywhere we walked was more beautiful that anything I had every seen before. The awe of this place, the beauty of this place, the hugeness of the mountains, and the sweetness of the air are all memories that I come back to whenever I want to be calm and to feel the joy that nature brings to me over and over again.

Singing In The Shower

I am not comfortable singing in the shower, but who is really going to hear me?: My husband, daughter, and my cats. I need to shake it up a bit and bring a little more happiness into my life. It's time I break down a little more of the barrier I've put up and let my family know I like to sing. Tomorrow morning, I'm singing in the shower and I'm not going to care who hears me.

Update: I was a little self conscious, but I went for it and it felt great. Maybe next I'll sing in my car.

Enjoy The Choice You Make

In our 20s, my husband had a friend that investigated what the right choice for the stereo of his dreams would be. He couldn't make himself buy it because, what if something better came out. Then he would have missed his opportunity to get the best. He did the same thing with buying a computer which, at the time, were being upgraded a few times per year. It seemed so sad to me.

This is the lesson I learned from our friend: Enjoy the choice I make. Don't second guess myself. It doesn't have to be the best because that is never attainable. If I focus on the positive aspects of why my choice was a good decision, then I more likely to feel the delight in my choice.

Having A Feeling Of Accomplishment

Do you ever feel like your not getting anything done? I sure have. This is the technique that works for me to make me feel like I am getting things done and am productive. I'm a list person. I always write my lists so part of it is achievable quickly and with out stress. Therefore, I always have somethings to cross off with minimal effort: Like pay the gas and water bills etc. It gives me a real sense of accomplishment as I check off the completed tasks. I also break them down so that they are more likely to get done. As they get crossed off, I feel like I took a positive step today.

That Was Really Nice

Write down in my gratitude journal something really nice that someone has done for me. If the memory juices are really flowing, then write a list of nice things that several people have done for me.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

You've heard the saying that laughter is the best medicine. When feeling a little down, watch a comedy, have a child tell you their favorite jokes or do whatever it is that makes you laugh.

Energy Boost

I've learned to carve out time each day for myself for exercise. Today is a low energy day for me and when I am done with this entry, I'll go and put in a 3 mile walk. This is the most consistent way I've found to rev up my energy level. Since I've been walking daily and doing my hand weights 3 times per week, I have never felt better emotionally and physically.

Exercise has been the greatest gift I've given to myself. I will be intentional with carving out time for myself daily for exercise

Reflection – Day 200ish

The point of living a life of gratitude for me, is to live my life with the intention of becoming the best person I can be. These are the things I've done that seem to have the greatest impact on others feeling better about themselves around me and what I've learned along the way about myself.

Others seem to appreciate when I listen to them, smile, say hello, ask how they are doing, say thank you and show real appreciation for their help. I also believe it has been very helpful to just recognize how difficult of a time people may be having, but that I recognize their efforts.

Since I've started intentionally living a life of gratitude, I feel much happier because I realize what an amazing life I have. I feel more able to ride out difficult situations and I am more likely to stay positive by looking at the good in each situation rather than focus on the not so good. It has been a very enlightening and appreciative experience for me and I am looking forward to the next 100 days journey.

Making Peace With Your Money

This topic of money, emergency funds, having your savings and spending in line with your values and dreams, paying yourself first, enjoying your money and automatic savings are all important issues. I wrote a book for my daughters 3 or 4 years ago on the topic of finances and what they needed to understand about investing, emergency funds, debt, saving and other slightly advanced financial topics.

I'd like to explore in greater detail the baggage we come with to our adult life from our parents and families about money. Also, I want us to understand how to not have the stress of living a life filled with debt nor do I want us to live a life of financial self denial. It's about enjoying our money, making some sacrifices to reach our ultimate dreams and goals in life. Stay tuned for my new blog called MakingPeaceWithYourMoney. I'm going to take a few months before starting this blog. Please join me in November and we'll make peace with our money together.

Have An Emergency Fund

What happens when a financial emergency happens. For me, I just paid a $500 vet bill and I have a 10 year old car, kaching. I need to be able to sleep at night and I can do that a lot better knowing I have an emergency fund for unexpected expenses. Whenever I get below a certain amount of money in my emergency fund, I redirect money back in that bucket until it is built up to an amount I am comfortable with.

Check how much money I have in my emergency fund and make changes if it is low.

Pay Myself First

I'd read many years ago, when I started on my financially informed journey, that you pay yourself first from each paycheck. That means before you pay the bills or spend your money, you put money aside for important dreams. I like to think of it as buckets of money. If I want to save money for my daughter's college, I put x dollars in the college bucket. I'd do the same thing for retirement, a house or whatever else may be important to me. I've come to learn that if I don't want to feel like a martyr, I also need to put aside money for myself; for something not as noble as college or retirement. We could call it a dreams bucket. I've been doing this for at least a decade, possibly two. Now I want to look over my finances and get them in line with my dreams and values. When I wrote my wishes list there was an awful lot of traveling dreams that I wrote down. I'm thinking it is time to start a travel bucket. I will spend time looking where I can make some cuts to fund that important wish I have. ..No time like today.

Also remember to leave enough money to cover your bills and other fixed costs: food, gas etc.

Credit Card Debt

If you find that you need to use your credit cards to buy your groceries, pay your water and electric bill and you can't pay off the debt at the end of the month, then you may be living beyond your means. This may be the time to meet with a debt counselor to help you with your finances.

If you are using shopping as a form of therapy for yourself, or your addicted to clothes, shoes, craft purchases, and you can't pay off your monthly credit card bill, then it may be time to reexamine your values and goals list. Is your spending in line with your goals? Is it in line with your values? The interest rates on credit cards are high and if you miss paying the minimum amount once or are late with the payment, those rates generally are increased to an exorbitant amount.

If you have credit card debt and your spending is on non essential items, then come up with a plan to pay at least the minimum on each card. Take the card with the highest interest rate and pay extra on that card until it is paid off. Then do the same thing with the next card with the highest rate. If you can consolidate the cards to the cards with the lowest rates, then that is a first step that should be taken. Meeting with a debt counselor may be a good idea as they can help you with budgeting and truly understand your financial situation.

It would be very difficult for me to live a life of gratitude, if I felt weighed down by debt.

Money, Money, Money

Money is a major stressor in many peoples lives. It's a major cause of conflict in many relationships and is a leading cause of divorce. Taking control of my money and my finances is an important step in creating a positive, appreciative life for myself. I'd like to address a few money topics over the next few days.

Addressing debt is a very important step in coming to terms with money. Write a list of your debt:all credit cards including interest on each one and current amount owned, mortgage, car loans, student loans and any other loans owed.

Flip Negative Talk

When I hear negative talk, flip it. For instance, if I feel or say, “I am stupid.”, then think of 3 smart things I've done. Or if I feel like I always say the wrong thing, then think of 1 or 2 “right” things I could have said. Finally, let it go.

Recognizing Acts Of Kindness

Do not take other people's positive actions for granted. Show appreciation for any act of kindness no matter how minor it may be. Wave to the driver if they are kind enough to give you a break to enter traffic or make a turn. Say thank you when someone gets an item for you off the top shelf at a store, holds the door for you, asks how you're doing, or is as gracious as picking up a check at a restaurant, or cooking you dinner.

I want to be intentional about recognizing others acts of kindness.

Stop The Chatter

I heard a story about how email contributes to our daily stress as does other electronics. We are listening to our IPods, surfing the internet, chatting on Skype, stalking people on Facebook, keeping up on our email and catching up on missed tv shows on our computers. We no longer, according to the story, give ourselves downtime. This downtime is when we let our mind relax, be creative and come up with new ideas. This has been lost with all the electronic clutter that is now a part of our lives.

I'm guilty. I can't remember the last time I read a book at home for longer than a half hour without checking on my email, or looking something up on the internet.

I'm going to try to give myself a big chunk of time to be away from all the electronic noise and clutter that has incorporated itself into my daily life. I'll let you know how I did.

Update: I spent about 90% of my day without going on my computer etc. It wasn't so bad. My husband, a musician, was at a gig last night where one of the musicians missed playing the beginning of a song because he was on his cell phone texting, checking email or whatever. Hmmm.

The Feel Of Summer

Summer flowers for me have always meant roses. I love the velvety, soft touch of a rose petal. Another summer, touch sensation that I always found comforting is feeling the warmth of the sun soaked garden soil. Others include, heat when opening a closed up car sitting in the sun all day, wet sand squishing between my toes and the cool sensation running through my body as I jump into a cold lake or ocean. It feels so good.

I love summer. Thinking about the 5 senses in terms of this season has given me a real appreciation for this time of year here in NJ. I am very grateful for these gifts from mother nature.

Eye See Summer

On the really hot, hot days of summer, I am always amazed at the heat vapors coming off the macadam covered street. I love the carefree, childhood memories that come flying back at that sight. I also appreciate the summer sights of children chasing lightening bugs, beads of sweat dripping from the joggers going by, the neighbors taking their evening walks and the families having picnics in the park. What beautiful sights.

The Taste Of Summer

Growing up in The Garden State, with a dad that used our backyard as his personal garden oasis, made me appreciate and salivate over all the home grown summer fruit and vegetables. I can taste the juicy sweetness of an ear of silver queen corn on the cob. There is the delicious righteousness of eating a tasty tomato off the vine or a juicy, tree ripened peach as it makes its way into my mouth with the overflowing juice running down my chin. Or there are the simple summer taste sensations of refreshing ice tea, lemonade and the sweet yumminess of ice cream on a hot summer day. Joy!

The Sounds Of Summer

I will be grateful for the sense of hearing and record some of these sounds in my gratitude journal. For instance, in summer I am grateful for the sound of waves crashing on the shoreline, gulls screeching, a ball as it makes contact with a bat, and children playing outside.

Getting In Touch With My Five Senses

I am fortunate enough to have all 5 of my senses working quite well. I thought it was time to remember how grateful I am for each of these 5. Today I will be intentional with my gratitude for the sense of smell. For example, the yummy smell of a ripe cantaloupe, or the aromatic smell of dill, mint, basil or marigolds that grace my deck. I'll record my gratitude in my journal.

How You Doing?

Reconnect with a friend or family member that I haven't seen and talked to in a while.

Feeling Good About Myself

Write a list of things I am good at.

Practice Forgiveness

Yesterday I asked, “What would bring more happiness into my life?” I wrote to become more positive, let others win arguments and practice forgiveness. The last item in my list is what I want to be intentional about doing. I need to forgive those I feel may have been mean and disruptive to my life. I will examine a few incidences that still get in my way and see if I can forgive, let go and move on.

A Happier Me

How can I bring more happiness into my life? For example, if working on a more healthy me then I could exercise, do weights for bone loss suppression, and try new healthy recipes for a better diet.

Inspirational Thoughts

Write inspirational thoughts or quotes and put them in places I will see them. I will read them often to lift me up and inspire me.

Learn Something New

Learn something new today. I could hit the library, the internet or talk to an informed person about a topic I want to educate myself about.

What Would I Change?

If I could change something in my life, what would it be? Write it down in my journal. Also, write 3 ideas that could start me down this path of change.

Life Is Full Of Surprises

Write in my gratitude journal about a time I was pleasantly surprised.

Acknowledge Kindness

Do not take other people's gestures of kindness for granted. When someone does something kind for you, let them know how grateful you are. Acts of kindness can be a small as holding a door open for you, getting you a drink out of the refrigerator, or clearing the plates from the table. Kindness should always be rewarded. Thank you. I really appreciate your help.

Good Things Happen To Good People

My husband has been mentoring a high school youth group on a Habitat For Humanity trip for the last 10 years. One of the parents that we've known for about that long offered us her beach home as a thank you to my husband. We are here now and this is an amazing gift. I am completely relaxed. I'm enjoying the smell of the salt water, the sounds of the sea gulls, the lapping of the waves and the laughter of my daughter. I am truly blessed.

Write in my gratitude journal about a time someone did something nice for me. Guess what I'm going to write about.

New Everyday

Try something new today.

Update: I thought I was going to try kayaking, but the water was too rough and the wind too strong. Instead, I ate crab cakes for the first time. Maybe not as exciting, but it was something new.

Go Away Stress

I'm going to continue working on letting go of the stress from my life. Writing this blog and following these activities has truly helped me let go of the stress. Writing in my journal has been cathartic as has going through my day noticing all the great things in my life: smell of honeysuckle, harvesting my raspberries, herbs and cutting flowers from my garden. Becoming more grateful has helped me be more positive and put stuff out of my control in perspective.

Be intentional with letting go of things that are out of my control.

Thanks Gratitude Journal

Read the entries in my gratitude journal. I believe it will be helpful to go back and read previous entries when something negative is in my life or I am feeling bad. Hopefully, this will remind me about all the things I appreciate and am honored to have in my life.

Update: I'm feeling better already.

Joyous Memories

Pick a time in my life that I felt joy and write about it in my gratitude journal. It should be a memory that I have not written about before in my journal.

Update: I recalled several wonderful memories and wrote about 3 of them.

Living My Life Intentionally

Sometimes I find myself in situations that make no sense to who I am and what I care about, but yet here I am volunteering or giving a lot of time to it. This has got to stop.

Remember what is important to me and live my life with this in mind.

Email

I heard that Goldman Sachs is banning their employees from using profanity in their emails. I'm not sure I understand why anyone would use profanity in email. Nor, am I sure why anyone would use profanity at their place of business, but that's another topic.

Someone once said that you should only write and send email that you would be comfortable if your children or mother read it. Good words to write email by.

Appreciating Myself

Write in my gratitude journal a list of 10 things I appreciate about myself.

...And He Had No Regrets

When my brother-in-law passed away 18 years ago, the quote on his memorial was “... and he had no regrets.” As I get older, it feels calming to let go of regrets.

The past is behind us. Live to the future. It's ours to explore, give and receive.

Assume The Best

Last night, I waited anxiously as my daughter was lost driving home from a concert. The time to get home doubled as she had trouble finding the major road that would get her safely home. This is the first time, since she got her license, that she travelled so far as the driver. I tried a technique that I hoped would make me feel less anxious as I awaited her return home. Instead of thinking about all the bad stuff that could happen to her and her friend, I focused on the other positive possibilities: She would find her way home with the help of GPS on the IPOD touch. She would remain calm and learn that she is a very responsible, resourceful person. She would rise to the occasion.

She came home to us safe, more confident and exhausted.

I Did It

Take ownership of my decisions and my actions, rather than blaming others or circumstances for an unwanted outcome.

My Own Best Friend

A very smart person told me that her daughter was always very critical of herself. She told her daughter that she needs to start treating herself as she would treat her best friend. She would never let her best friend be so negative about herself. Instead, she would remind her how wonderful and special she was.

Stop being so hypercritical of myself. I am my own worst enemy and now it is time to be my own best friend and my own champion.

My Happiness, My Responsibility

We are responsible for our own happiness. Do not buy into the idea of bad things happen in threes or waking up on the wrong side of the day. If things are not going well for you: stubbing toes, water bottle leaking etc., then turn it around. See the humor, if possible, in the negative and flip it to a positive.

No Regrets

Is there someone, that if gone, you'd have regrets that you should have made things right between you? Say what needs to be said to this someone. If it is impossible for you to confront this person, then write what you would like to say and save the letter. Be gracious and forgive them and yourself. Maybe this will help allow you to eventually make contact with this person.

Another Of Life's Gifts

Be grateful for the beauty and illumination of the full moon.

In Appreciation

Write in my gratitude journal 1 thing I appreciate about my day today.

Saying No

Recently, I came up with a list of my values and a list of my wishes. Now that I've thought about what is truly important in my life, I will live it by valuing the important stuff and more importantly, the important people. I will say no to things that do not align with my values and my wishes.

Who Am I?

Fill in the blank. I am ______________. Write as many words as I would like.

Update: Filling in this statement was a good way to gauge where my head is at today. I filled it in with really positive words. Go me.

Speaking For Others, Or Not

I went to a meeting recently where people kept saying things like, “I know we all feel ...” or “I know we would all agree that …” I don't know about you, but I don't feel comfortable speaking for others. I know there have been lots of times when people have assumed things about me that were off the mark. When I get into a conversation where I'm comfortable that a lot of us would feel a certain way, I still would say something like, “Some of us may feel...”, because you never know.

I will be intentional about not speaking for other people or making assumptions about them.

Goodbye Grudges

Does holding on to a grudge make me happy or does it have the opposite effect? Is it adding anything of value to my life? I need to come to terms with the grudge, confront the person or not, but then let it go.

The Joy Of Doing

Write a list of my hobbies in my gratitude journal. Celebrate by doing one of these listed joys.

Oh What A Beautiful Morning

Wake up thankful that you have another day to live, be grateful, love, be loved and spread joy....life is a gift.

Remember The Joy

Write in my gratitude journal 1 thing I enjoyed about my day today.

Perfection Is Overrated

There are times when I want things to be perfect and that is when the stress kicks in. I get these feelings of let me do just one last thing or it would have been better if I had done this other thing. You know where I'm going with this.

What's the point of perfection? I need to be intentional about letting it go. That is how I will help myself be a happier, more positive and less stressful me.

For The Big Problems

What happens when incidences of extreme stress happens?: Will I lose my job?, How will I pay for college? My mortgage? My rent? Will the health test reveal something serious?

I still think about what I have to be grateful for and this helps me remember what I have and what is working well. Then I talk to a loved one and share my fears and anxieties. This usually helps me put it in perspective. If not, I go for a walk.

Stress Relievers

Here in a nutshell is some more stress relievers that work for me: Listening to music, watching a comedy, reading in my special spot on the deck, walking, writing in my journal, visualizing, painting, knitting and meditating.

For others it may be playing an instrument, shopping, swimming, jogging, going out with friends, being on a sports team, gardening, board games, baking, woodworking, or going to the movies.

What's important is to figure out what helps me decompress and then to make time each day for myself so that I can let go of the stress.

Letting Go Of The Stress

This one is for you sweetie. There are all sorts of ways of dealing with stress. From figuring out what is causing you stress and seeing if there are modifications that can be made to avoid the stress, to basic lifestyle changes that can promote a healthier you. For now, I'll work on promoting a healthier me.

For me, walking relieves stress and for others it could be swimming, running, aerobics, weight training, soccer or some other form of exercise. Next is to eat healthy. There is lots of talk today about eating a rainbow of fruits and veggies. I've read recently that you should try and eat with people for a healthier you. Also, getting enough sleep. Though I find that one easier in theory, but I continue to strive for 7 or 8 hours a night. I also think several of the activities in this blog can help relieve stress: get rid of the negative people or surround yourself with happy, positive people, relax or meditate (I'll write down a meditation technique that works for me in a future blog post and it only took about 20 years to find one that did.), and work on being a happier and more positive me.

I'll look at this topic more tomorrow.

For now, be intentional about promoting a healthier me.

Mood Change

Mood Change

Today I woke up and felt really low. Everything seemed sad and gloomy. I wasn't sure how to get myself out of my mood and be that happy, positive person that I've been striving to become. After feeling sorry for myself a bit, I decided to exercise. That turned around my day and worked on one of my top values of being healthy.

Be intentional about having a great, positive day.

Happy People

Find a happy person or two or three. Make it a goal to surround myself with happy, positive people.

Focus On What I Have

Focus on what I have rather than on what I don't have. This is part of living a life of gratitude.

Of Course I Can

Be known as a positive person. As I become more positive, I find I am also becoming more aware of all that I have to be grateful for in my life.

It Is What It Is

Start the day positive. Even if something negative happens, put a positive spin on it. A colleague of mine, to deal with negativity says, “It is what it is.” She accepts the not so great and makes it the best it can be. And moves on.

Lazy, Hazy Days Of Summer

As temperatures hit the 90s and 100s in NJ this week, I am giving thanks for air conditioning, cool basements and cool, lingering showers. The intensity of the sun and heat is also reminding me how grateful I am for vegetables, such as tomatoes, zucchini and eggplant and flowers like roses, zinnias and marigolds that thrive on the beating sun and heat.

Listen, Listen, Listen

Go into every conversation with the assumption that there is something I will learn. This should help me to not interrupt the other person while they are talking and hopefully learn something new.

Passion?

What is my passion? What makes me feel good? Can I make a career from my passion? I'm going to the library to find materials that will help me on my journey to discovering my passion.

Happiness Is Everything

Happiness doesn't always come easily. Sometimes you have to work at it to get there. Be intentional with being happy such as smiling, saying good day to others, thinking of a happy time in your life and putting a positive spin on your day.


Update: I thought this would be instinctive at this point, but I find I still have to work at being happy through my day. If I remind myself in the morning to be intentional about being positive, smiling and making eye contact with others, then the rest of my day tends to be more positive.

Wisdom From The World Cup

While watching a quarterfinal game, a commentator said something like, “Don't look back on regrets, just move forward.” That is a great idea. Let go of regrets, since hanging on isn't productive or healthy.

How Have You Been?

I realized today, that I have been so busy worrying about my job and just living day to day, that I have not made time for my friends. I have not gone out with friends, had them over for food and conversation or any other fun thing one does with our friends.

I will be intentional about making dates with my friends.

Brain Shift

Make a shift in how you think. Who cares if the checkout line you pick at the store isn't the fastest line. Instead while waiting to buy your goods, take the time to appreciate the food you are buying, the new clothes you'll be wearing, the light bulb, stamps, etc. you'll now have.

Appreciating a Helpful Hand, Take Two

On May 2nd, 2010, the exercise I chose to do was to write a list in my gratitude journal of 3 people that have previously helped me and how they helped me. I am repeating this activity with 3 new people and/or deeds. This activity was wonderful in that it reminded me of a few of the wonderful acts of kindness bestowed on me. I have much to be grateful for.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Your actions should reflect your values. Since I need to go home and live with who I am, I don't want to get swept up in an eye for an eye mentality. Always live my life as if my children are watching me and mimicking me.

We're Different

We are individuals with different values, goals, interests and life experiences. As such, don't assume others are bothered by the same things as me. Nor, that my priorities are their priorities. I've had many people assume over the years, that I was politically the same as them, was on board with their method of child rearing or any number of topics. Why? We're all different.

Let Silence Happen

Take the pressure off myself to immediately respond in a conversation. Actively listen to others, rather than formulating a response while they speak. Then take the time when they are done, to think in silence, before responding.

Honoring My Values

Make some me time. School's out for the summer, but I still can't seem to relax and enjoy my time off from work. Since being healthy is a priority value for me, I will try and walk almost daily this summer. I walked regularly last summer, so I am confident I can challenge myself to once again repeat this activity. Getting started is the tough part, so I'll jump right in and start tomorrow morning.

Second Chances

Take advantage of second chances. For that matter, take advantage of third and fourth chances. For every missed opportunity, ( I should have, could have, would have) there will be another opportunity presented to you.

Why Don't You Know What I'm Thinking

Don't assume others, especially loved ones, understand why I am upset. Tell them. I am grateful that I value my relationship with you enough to trust you with my feelings.

Dream Big

There's the expression to dream big. I believe in dreams and wishes and believe that many of mine have come true in the past and will continue to come true in the future. It's important to dream big, but also to enjoy and appreciate all the joys, big or small, along the way.

You Can Do It

Add something positive with every group, activity and conversation you are involved with today.

Get Centered

Try different things to figure out what centers me: walking, exercise, saying a mantra, meditation, painting, gardening, listening to music or playing guitar.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I will look at my life as a gift and a joy, rather than a host of problems to be solved.

The Grass Is Not Always Greener

Don't assume others have it better than me. It's that grass is always greener on the other side mentality. Instead, appreciate what I have and do not compare myself to others.

Take Some Deep Breaths

I find that when I feel hurt, upset, or angry that the worst things come out of my mouth. Then I'm irritated at myself for saying those things when I was in a negative place. Today, if hurt or angry I will keep my mouth shut. I will practice deep breaths. I'll take a walk. I'll watch a sitcom, work in my garden or something else that brings me inner peace. I'm practicing not responding with angry words.

Speak Up I Can't Hear You

When I was growing up, my mom and her 2 sisters would have this amazing talent of having a conversation while they talked simultaneously. One sister was louder than the other. Now that I'm older, I wonder if they heard anything the other sister was saying? Were they only interested in getting their point of view across?

To continue on my journey to be a successful, active listener, I'm not going to interrupt someone that I am conversing with. I will allow them to complete their part of the conversation and truly listen to what they are saying. I will not interrupt them as they are speaking, especially if I have a different point of view. Concentrating on what the other person is saying, and not assuming I know what they are going to say, will help me be a more respectful, appreciative communicator.

Feeling Good

Appreciate the positive things that happen during my day. For me, this can be someone else smiling at me, saying hello to me, or having my cat rub up against me.

Help Is On The Way

When someone has been put down, made to feel bad about themselves, or made to feel some insecurity, find something positive to tell them. This will help remind them that they too are good and deserve to be valued.

Living Life Gratefully

Write in my gratitude journal all the reasons I can come up with that reminds me that life is a gift.

Actions To Live By

Last week, our principal said words to live by in his morning announcement to the students.

Be positive, supportive and caring with each other. These are the beautiful actions I will carry out tomorrow.

Memory Lane

Take a trip down memory lane with someone you care about. Reminisce about some good times you've had together. Laugh and enjoy these stories reminding yourself how grateful you are for these wonderful memories and this wonderful person.

Be Happy For This Moment

Be happy for this moment. For this moment is your life. This is a beautiful quote that I repeat often to myself. I will live this quote.

You're The Best

Tell someone you care about that you believe in them.

Believe

Believe in myself. Believe in my journey. Believe that I can make the change in my life that I desire. I am going to write down on an index card one change I want to make in my life. I will write it in positive terms and look at my index card throughout the day. In the evening I will journal about my desired change, how I felt throughout the day visualizing myself in this desired change. I'll record any ideas that popped into my head on ways to make this change.

Happy Being Me

Do not compare myself to others. I'll remember about the positive changes I've noticed in myself and how grateful I am to be me.

Along The Journey

Write in my gratitude journal about the positive changes I see in myself since I started on my journey to living a life a gratitude. This isn't about perfection, but improvement.

I'm Only Human

I am trying to become a better person; One that turns the other cheek, honors others feelings, is grateful, gracious and all those wonderful qualities. But, I went food shopping on a Saturday again. I don't know what I am thinking putting myself in this stressful situation. Today I came across the shopper that kept stopping her cart in the middle of the aisle in front of me so that I would have to wait while she mulled over her 5 different choices of tuna, or which box of pasta to buy. I guess I need to work on finding the humor in situations like this rather than stewing in what I perceive as others lack of courtesy.

I am going to keep positive and look at the humor in situations I can not control

Honor Myself

Be respectful to myself. Use only positive speech when talking about myself. Don't gossip (that one makes me feel awful.). Don't compare myself to others and do not judge myself.

Honest Living

Live my day honestly. It is difficult keeping track of untruths.

It's My Idea

Take ownership of my decisions and my actions. This means to stop blaming others for what is going on in my life.

Joyous Moments

Look for the joy throughout my day. As I live my day, I will notice when something gives me joy. Hopefully, I'll remember to write these joyous moments in my gratitude journal.

On The Path To Being A Better Person

Take being gracious, grateful, positive and kind a day at a time. If I mess up, I'll acknowledge it and continue on my journey.

Without Preconceptions

Open my heart and mind to what others have to say. I may learn something new or it may even challenge my way of thinking.

Simplify

I will do 1 thing to simplify my life.

Here are some ideas I came up with: Declutter, hang out in my safe space for 10 minutes, practice the power of no. Let go of the magazine and/or newspaper subscriptions that I do not have time to read. Turn off my cell phone when I am trying to get centered. Set up automatic payment of at least 1 bill. Go paperless with at least one bill or statement. Tune out the news on some days. Unsubscibe to email lists.

No Thank You

If someone asks me to do something I just don't have the time or the passion for, I'm going to use the power of no. Now that I have written my values and wishes lists, it will be easier for me to make choices on how to spend my time. I've done a lot of volunteer work over the years. Some of it has been for my children's sports, clubs, school or other activities and I would still do that so that I can do my part for the good of the organization. Others have been for things I was passionate about, but I've also done my share of volunteering simply because I was asked. Now I will be more intentional about how I spend my time.

Go Away Stress

Make one change that will cut out some stress from my life. For example, I could alter my work's start and/or end time to avoid major traffic jams. Cut back on listening/reading the news. For many people, money issues are a major cause of stress so setting up an automatic contribution to a 401K or an IRA might be helpful.

Figure out what is causing me stress and take some action to alleviate this from my life.

Day 100 – Be Reflective

Gratitude is about appreciating all that I have in my life: all the people, opportunities and comforts. It is, for me, looking at the good and realizing that I have an amazing life. It is about helping me be more positive, grateful, graceful and kind. It is also about letting others negativity and unkindness go and realizing that it is about them and what is going on in their lives. This has been extremely helpful with accepting others lack of grace and more importantly, my reaction to this behavior.

Take the time to be reflective.

Make Time For Myself

I must make time for myself, my physical and mental health, because that is when I'm at my best. Be kind to me.

Thoughts Of Gratitude

Replace your negative thoughts with thoughts of gratitude. Instead of thinking about how someone was dismissive of your idea, think about how grateful you are that you treat people with the dignity and appreciation that they deserve. Appreciate that you value others ideas and that you are a role model of graciousness.

It's Still Not About Me

Recognize the people in your life that may do things that appear mean, dismissive, insulting, or thoughtless. Realize that this behavior is about them and not you. You know how to react to life situations in a thoughtful, respectful manner, but not everyone does. We can control our responses to life and situations that we are put in, but we really can't control others behaviors.

Let Go Of Sarcasm

I have found that sarcasm is not flattering to myself and is not taken as witty by many others. Let it go from my repertoire of comebacks. This, I believe, is a wonderful way to add more grace to my daily living.

Aware Of Others Feelings

When someone would say something like, “I don't like my body.”, I used to respond with a complement about their body. I felt that people are their own worst critic and generally they can't see their own beauty. Now I'm thinking I was being dismissive with their feelings. I'm going to practice not being dismissive and instead ask something like, “Really, I don't see it, but what change would you like to make in your body?” Or simply, “Really, what change would you like to make in your body?”

You Are Special

Tell someone why they are special to you.

Go On The Offensive

From this process, I'm more tuned in to when people are impatient with me or others around me. Others seem more comfortable criticizing me. As this has not happened before, I'm curious as to why this is occurring. What am I projecting differently?

Instead of being defensive, I'll try being sympathetic.

Practicing Gratitude

If you have people in your life you love, let them know everyday that you love them. Telling my children everyday that I love them was a great habit to get into. Now I tell them every time I talk to them on the phone, or text it to them or say it in email. Love you guys.

Gracious Role Model

Be a role model of graciousness: compassionate, kind, courteous.

Yes I Can

Be the most positive person in the room.

Wishes. Dreams. Goals.

Write a wishes list. Write as many entries as possible. Try to write at least 20 wishes. Four years ago I did this exercise.. When I am done writing my list, I'm going to find my old list and see if any of it has happened and what was important to me then.

Values. What Values?

Write down what is important to me in my life. What are my values?: accomplishment, adventure, challenge, commitment, community, family, fame, fortune/wealth, freedom, friendship, harmony, honesty, independence, inner peace, integrity, intelligence, justice, leadership, love, loyalty, power, recognition, recreation, spirituality, success, trust, wisdom. I'm only going to list 5 – 10 values. For more value ideas, there are lots of websites to visit with values lists that are over 300 long.

My goal is to live my life with these priorities/values in mind. This will help me to make choices that are in line with my values.

Update: My top 6 values are: Family, Freedom, Love, Success, Health, Gratitude, at least for today. I reserve the right to change these as I think about my priorities, goals and dreams.

Needing A Little TLC

I've been sick all week and am really getting tired of feeling like this. I need to laugh. I'll watch a sitcom or a funny movie to make myself feel happy and more positive.

Grateful Living

Write for 10 minutes non stop on what I am grateful for in my gratitude journal.

Be Hopeful

Even when others are lobbing pessimism in my direction, I will remain hopeful. I believe I've written this before, that I cannot control others actions, but I can control my response to their actions. I choose hope.

Quiet My Critical/Judgmental Mind

I've heard people say that you never know what is going on in another person's life or what others have been through. For that reason, today is a great day to not be judgmental. Hopefully, this will also help me remember to not take things personally.

Appreciating My Life

Write a list of 5 things I like about my life in my gratitude journal.

Forgive Myself

If I make a mistake, I'll apologize and even if others do not accept it, I'll move on. It's important that I learn from my mistake, try not to repeat it, try to make it better and then let it go.

I'm Worth It

Go outside and take a walk. Even if it is for 10 minutes, I need to soak up some sunshine, breathe in the fresh air and a have a few minutes of me time.

Be Kind To Myself

Be kind to myself. When I blow a diet, stop walking, skip working out with weights, forget for a week or 2 or 3 to do daily meditation or whatever I'm into at the moment, I will adopt a who cares attitude, forgive myself and start again. Better yet, I'll change my expectations to be more realistic for me and my life at that moment.

Being Generous With Our Words

Pay 5 people complements today.

Intentional Gratitude

There is so much to be grateful for in my life. The previous activity reminded me how 3 people helped me in my life. I'd like to expand on this activity with intentionally looking for how others are kind and helpful to me. I'll notice if someone opens a door for me, gets something off a shelf for me, brings me a napkin, pen, my printouts from the printer or any other minor or major act of kindness or helpfulness. I would imagine that most acts of kindness I am the recipient of would be considered minor acts. So what. In opening up my eyes to all acts of kindness, I hope to more appreciative and grateful of others and become kinder myself. At the end of my day, I will write these acts of kindness in my gratitude journal.

Appreciating a Helpful Hand

Write a list in my gratitude journal of 3 people that have previously helped me and how they helped me.

Update: It was really wonderful remembering acts of helpfulness and kindness bestowed on me. This activity will be repeated again in the future.

Joyous Living

Focus on what I have rather than what I don't have.

Update: Okay, I'm getting it now. I have a lot. As my husband would say, “Quit your complaining.” Though, old habits are hard to break.

Positive Spin

Love my day by looking at all my experiences in a positive light.

Update: I ended up writing about some things that were bothering me and putting a positive spin on them. It really did make me feel grateful for my life.

Letting It Go

I had someone do some hurtful things to me over a period of time and I really need to get over this. On March 12th, I wrote in my gratitude journal a list of qualities about 2 dear people in my life. It reminded me of how much I have to be grateful for. This time, I am going to write a list of qualities I admire about someone I have negative feelings about. In my case, the person I talked about in the paragraphs opening sentence. I hope this will be cathartic, and that I can do it.

Update: I wasn't that successful with this activity. Nor did I find it cathartic. Back to the drawing board on letting it go.

Talk To Someone New

Engage someone new in a conversation. It could be a co-worker you usually just say hello to, or fellow church member, neighbor etc. Some starters could be: Do you have any plans for the weekend. How are the kids? Your yard looks beautiful, did you add some new plantings? I only need 1 or 2 questions to engage in a short conversation. I've probably made that person feel good, myself for doing something I don't normally do, and hopefully, added more gracious living for myself.

Moving On

Don't make my problems worse than they really are. Fixating on a problem can make it all consuming and feed my negativity. I need to feed my soul with healthy, positive and grateful living.

Control. What Control?

One of the things I'm learning from my works downsizing, is to stop focusing on what I can't control and to move onto the things I do have control of. One pulls me into a discomforting, agitative state and the other helps me remain calm and positive.

Happy People, Happy Me

I'm watching my teenager right now laughing and playing with her cat and it makes me so happy. I find myself smiling and being lifted up by her happiness. My activity is going to be happy and see if I can lift others up so that they too will feel happier. I'm going to have a big, genuine smile on my face and project positiveness. Does this sound like hard work?

Quieting The Mind

I will spend 5 minutes when I wake up to quiet my mind. Since thoughts will creep in my mind, I will focus on a place that is calming and is a place of beauty to me. My calming place has beautiful alpine flowers on the ground, a large rock to lean my body against, a small stream, a sea of mountains in the horizon ,and billowy clouds in the sun filled sky. I will take myself to my sacred place and enjoy the scenery, feel the sun on my face, the gentle breeze through my hair, and enjoy the calmness it is bringing to the start of my beautiful day.

Collage of Inspiration

Put together a collage of things, feelings, places, and people that makes me happy.

Love My Rose Colored Glasses

Let go of the negative people in my life: The ones that always complain and make me feel bad with all the sadness that they project. Of course, if they are family or work peers, I need to think about how I can minimize my interactions with them. I want to be surrounded by positive people as they lift me up and make me a better person.

It's Not About Me

Do you ever have people say something unkind to you or about you? Has anyone ever been dismissive or rude to you? I believe that other peoples bad behavior is about the other person and who they are. It's not about me.

My activity is that I will not take things personally. If someone is unkind to me, I will remind myself that it is not about me.

Love Is Everywhere

Today I saw a slogan on a child's t-shirt that was “Love is Everywhere.” I just loved it and decided that tomorrow I will adopt that as my mantra. Every time I see something I love or am grateful for I will say, out loud or in my head, love is everywhere.

Update: I feel almost silly admitting this, but saying to myself that love is everywhere throughout the day, really kept me centered and made me grateful.

Life Is A Gift

Look at life as if it is a gift rather than a burden. One more take on being positive rather than negative.

Being In The Moment

When in a conversation, let the other person complete their sentence. Look them in their eyes and give them affirmations by nodding at the appropriate time. People will feel good that I am listening to them rather than waiting for an opportunity to have my say. Active listening is a wonderful skill to learn.

Update: I have a lot more work to do to become the person I'd love to be. Oh well.

No News Is Good News

Spend the day news free. Don't read the Sunday paper, listen to NPR, or turn on the evening news. This is my attempt at not bringing negativity into my day from the news.

Update: This is a tough one when you are living with a news junkie.

Shhhhh

Allow myself quiet time: Time to be reflective, to let go of stuff, to bring calm in and let anxiety out.

Appreciating Me

Appreciate all that I do. In my gratitude journal, I'll write a list of what I appreciate about myself.

Appreciating My Loved One

Since starting this journey, I find I am focusing a lot on what I want to change about myself. Letting others know how much I appreciate them is important to me and I feel I do a good job of this with most people. Lately, I have not let my husband know how much I appreciate who he is and his many contributions to our family, relationship and our life.

The activity is to let someone know how much you appreciate them. It can be done with words, giving them your attention, or active listening for instance.

Life is a Gift

I used to be one of those people that tended to look at the glass half empty. Through the years, I've come to appreciate my beautiful life and all that I have and I'm now a much more positive person. Life is a gift and I want to treasure all the gifts it has given me.

Look at my glass half full today.

Don't Stew When Hurt

I don't understand vindictiveness. When people are so hurt by some perceived action or lack of action from others, that they do something to get even or they hurt another as they feel they have been hurt. I am at the point in my life when I want to be told if I wrong someone else. Don't let it stew as I am quite approachable. When someone says or does something hurtful, call them on it. For example: I am hurt when... I'm not sure I understand why you feel this way. I'm sorry, how can we move forward with this.

Conflict Resolution 101

I will use I statements today. When teaching children about conflict resolution, we model for them that using I statements such as, I feel hurt when I can't play hopscotch with you, is less threatening than saying you won't let me play hopscotch.

Let Go of Gossiping

I had a college roommate that complained I wouldn't ever talk about people. When I went back our sophomore year I tried to gossip, but it felt wrong to me. I'm human and as such I've gossiped even when I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. Being part of a group that is talking about someone else may seem fun, but it is at someone else's expense.

I am going to be intentional about not gossiping.

Rewind

As mentioned before, there is a lot of anxiety over potential layoffs at my place of work. The roller coaster ride of emotions is stressful. One minute I feel like my friends and I will survive the downsizing and in the next, something is said that makes me think I'll be let go. I've had enough of looking at aspects of my life from a negative perspective. For the next few days, I'd like to work on releasing negativity from my live as much as I can control.

Think about the things I feel bad or guilty about. Today explore one of those. Is there something I can do to make it right? Replay the situation, but this time replace the negativity, the thing I feel bad about, with how I wish I had responded originally. I always play the game of replaying something I said or did with what I wished I had said or done. Next, if this involves some wrong I caused to a person, I could even contact this person, apologize, hope they accept the apology, and whether they accept it or not, I'll move on and release the guilt.

Update: Since I started this journey about 8 weeks ago, I've become more aware of aspects of myself and my life that need some work. Making amends for relationships that need more attention is now a major priority in my life.

Finding The Good

When everything feels like it is going wrong and I'm feeling down, stop and ask myself, “What's one positive thing that happened today?” Finding the good will, hopefully, change my attitude and therefore, turn my day around.

Grateful For Me

Write a list of 5 traits I like about myself in my gratitude journal.

Life's Memories

When I was at the beach on a summer vacation with my family, I picked up a small, smooth, unusual shell. On days I need to be reminded that life is a joy, I carry that shell in my pocket. When my hand touches that shell, it picks up my mood and gives me renewed energy. My memory of that special, family time puts a smile on my face and reminds me of how much I have to be grateful for.

Tomorrow, I'll carry one of my memories or a special picture in my pocket to help me stay positive.

Update: I love this activity. Every time I touched my shell, it brought back a great vacation with my family. Feelings of love, comfort, warmth and pure bliss would fill me. Collecting other memories of special times, is now a high priority item for me. Touching my shell was a great way for me to keep putting my life in perspective today.

Give Myself A Break

Carve out at least 10 minutes for myself. Even if I have to sit in the bathroom for 10 minutes and read, draw, or write, then that is what I'll do.

Take Time To Smell The Roses

When did my life become so complicated that I won't make time for the simple joys in life? I was given this battery operated toothbrush that is supposed to clean teeth really well about 3 months ago. It has not come out of the packaging yet, because I couldn't find the time to set it up. This is really sad to me that I haven't made the time for something as simple as this. I am going to slow it down, savor a cup of tea, sit outside and smell the blossoms, feel the sunshine on my face and listen to the sounds of children playing, laughing and shrieking in the neighborhood.

That toothbrush is going to be used tonight.

Using Affirmations

Write an affirmation. Write it on an index card that I'll put in my pocket and read throughout my day. Put a copy of it on the mirror and put a copy of it on the refrigerator reading it each time I see or feel it.

Using Rose Colored Glasses

Focus on the positive rather than the negative. I am not saying to ignore the bad in life, but rather to celebrate and build on the good.

Update:Looking at life through rose colored glassed worked for me this weekend.

Be In The Moment

If in a conversation, then converse rather than looking around or worse yet, at your watch. If playing with my children, then be there in the game with them rather than checking my email. Give people my undivided attention.

At Peace With Myself

My goal is to stay at peace with myself. Whenever I get into a situation that I might say something negative about myself or others, I will turn it around into a positive statement.
I keep coming back to variations of this exercise and will continue to until I've mastered compassion in my speech, listening and my thoughts.

Why Can't We All Play Nice

When someone says something negative to me, I will be extremely gracious with my response to them.

It's Not About Me

I do not have control over how people treat me, but I can control my reaction to people and their treatment of me. I've come to realize that when people are passive aggressive, unpleasant or exhibit other negative behavior, it is not about me, but about themselves.

Let me practice being pleasant with unpleasant people and if that doesn't work, I'll walk away.

Update: It's not easy to not take “attacks” personally, even when you know the same aggressors target other people in a similar way. Ah, this kind of patience is a work in progress for me.

Recognizing My Blessings

Spend the day saying thank you or I am blessed or whatever I decide my mantra is for recognizing the good in my life. Every time something good happens I'll say I am blessed. Someone says good morning, I am blessed. Things are going well at work, I am blessed. Someone compliments me, I am blessed. My daughter comes home from school safely, I am blessed. The first flowers of spring are up, I am blessed. Blessings are all around me and I will spend the day recognizing them.

In Gratitude of Other's Kindness

List 3 good deeds that I have been the recipient of in my gratitude journal.

Make Peace, Not Ego

Apologize, even when I believe I'm not wrong, if it helps make peace and moves a conversation, work, or play forward. I don't want others to rent space in my head for something that doesn't really matter to me.

Opening Our Hearts

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Even if something sounds fabricated, accept it and move on.

Update: A lot of time is freed up by taking people at their word rather than spending the energy proving them wrong. Not fretting over the fact that someone may be misleading me, is freeing and even better, calming. I'm simply going to accept people at their word and move on.

Positive Living

I can choose to go through my day positive or I can choose to be negative. One makes me feel calm and happy and could positively affect someone else's day or I could be grumpy. Guess which I'll practice today.

Update: Intentionally practicing a positive outlook is helping me get through what appears to be a major downsizing at work. Not getting caught up in all the negative talk has helped me feel calmer. I still feel stress, but it's not being elevated by others fears and their reactions to the staff cuts.

Gracious Living and Positive Speech

I will practice being positive when I speak. If I make a negative comment, I will turn it around into a positive statement.

Update: I spent the last 7 days writing in my journal at least 1 good activity I had done that day. It is great having a reminder that I do kind, generous things and that I can even make a positive impact on someone else's day. It is now in my journal for me to go back and read when I am feeling down on myself.

Gracious Living - Compliment Giver

Pay 3 people compliments.

Update: This activity made me realize that there are lots of wonderful people I come in contact with daily. I had an easy time paying compliments to more than 3 people and it helped me appreciate the lovely people that were part of my day.

Gracious Living and Being Welcoming-Day 5

I am going to be intentional about saying good day, good morning and how are you to those that are acquaintances or strangers. The first time I practiced this, I seemed to have a lot of positive responses.

Gracious Living and Listening - Day 4

Today, I'm going to practice intentional listening. I will not feel the need to be wise in my response. Nor will I feel the need to respond, but rather I will focus on listening to what others say. I will look them in the eyes as they speak, not interrupt and simply give them the attention they deserve.

Update: Are you ever around people that have had bad things happen to them and that is mostly what they talk about? They have every right to vent, but it is tough to listen to over a long period of time. That was my day.

Being Gracious

Even though I am continuing to practice the gracious living activity for the week, I just had to add this activity for today. Since it is Saturday, I am heading out to go food shopping. A lot of times I have witnessed the customer at the cashier being less than gracious. The cashier is not responsible for equipment failure, long lines or others grumpiness we feel the need to share with them. Today, I will be intentional with being gracious to the cashier. I hope this can make up for the lack of grace from some other customer. If they have only had good experiences today, even better. Then, I hope to add to their pleasant experiences.

Update: My cashier was very surprised when I asked about her daughter and how law school was going. My children have told me I will talk to anybody and I've decided to take that as a compliment. I've been talking to cashiers and wishing them a good day for a long time. I've always felt that it's important for all of us to know that what we do is valued by others.

Gracious Living, Day 2 and 3

Continue the gracious living activity of writing in my gratitude journal, 1 good thing I did today. Be intentional about doing something good: smile at people, say please and thank you, say hello to strangers or acquaintances, perform a random act of kindness, be an active listener, be exquisite with my speech.

Update: Yesterday, I smiled a lot. Today, I practiced saying please and thank you. Tomorrow, I'll probably be intentional with practicing being exquisite with my speech or active listening.

Gracious Living

For the next week, write in my gratitude journal daily, 1 good thing I did that day. I'll need to be intentional about doing something good. You know the drill: pay a compliment, say hello to a stranger, say good morning to a coworker, perform a random act of kindness, say please and thank you or smile to those I walk past.

Update: Today I smiled a lot. I have to admit, I forget at times too.

Kindness

Be the kindest person in the room today.

Appreciating Our Loved Ones

Tell someone how lucky I am to have them in my life.

Random Act of Kindness

Perform a random act of kindness. My husband stopped on the side of the road to help someone change their flat tire. The person wanted to pay him and he said, “No thank you. Just do something nice for someone else.” It's the pay it forward concept. Think of something kind I can do for someone else today and act on it. Here are some thoughts: Open and hold the door for someone carrying bags. Offer to get an item off of a top shelf. Buy someone a cup of coffee, tea etc. Bring in my neighbors trash can. Make arrangements to bring a meal to a shut in. I've been the recipient of a random act of kindness from a stranger in the car in front of me paying my toll for me. That was so cool that I paid the toll for the car behind me.

Update: I gave flowers to someone I thought could use a pick me up.

Being Grateful for Loved Ones

Pick a person that is important to me. In my gratitude journal, write a list of why I am grateful to have them in my life. I'll do this for 2 days in a row with 2 different people.

Update for first of 2 days: I chose my husband and started my entry with I am grateful and thankful for .... Some of his qualities include:
I wrote a list of over 20 of his wonderful qualities. When I completed my list, I was reminded that I need to look beyond the dirty socks left laying around and the crumbs left on the counter. They are meaningless compared to all that I benefit by having him in my life.

Sharpening My Listening Skills

Let people speak until completion rather than interrupting them as they are talking. People seem so grateful to have someone truly listening to them.

Update: Listening is such an important skill to learn and takes a lot of practice. People have a lot to say and want to be heard and not dismissed. I am happy to give people a voice and to let them know I value them and their ideas. There is so much I can learn when I truly listen. I'm grateful when others listen to me and want to give the gift of listening to others.