At Peace With Myself

My goal is to stay at peace with myself. Whenever I get into a situation that I might say something negative about myself or others, I will turn it around into a positive statement.
I keep coming back to variations of this exercise and will continue to until I've mastered compassion in my speech, listening and my thoughts.

Why Can't We All Play Nice

When someone says something negative to me, I will be extremely gracious with my response to them.

It's Not About Me

I do not have control over how people treat me, but I can control my reaction to people and their treatment of me. I've come to realize that when people are passive aggressive, unpleasant or exhibit other negative behavior, it is not about me, but about themselves.

Let me practice being pleasant with unpleasant people and if that doesn't work, I'll walk away.

Update: It's not easy to not take “attacks” personally, even when you know the same aggressors target other people in a similar way. Ah, this kind of patience is a work in progress for me.

Recognizing My Blessings

Spend the day saying thank you or I am blessed or whatever I decide my mantra is for recognizing the good in my life. Every time something good happens I'll say I am blessed. Someone says good morning, I am blessed. Things are going well at work, I am blessed. Someone compliments me, I am blessed. My daughter comes home from school safely, I am blessed. The first flowers of spring are up, I am blessed. Blessings are all around me and I will spend the day recognizing them.

In Gratitude of Other's Kindness

List 3 good deeds that I have been the recipient of in my gratitude journal.

Make Peace, Not Ego

Apologize, even when I believe I'm not wrong, if it helps make peace and moves a conversation, work, or play forward. I don't want others to rent space in my head for something that doesn't really matter to me.

Opening Our Hearts

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Even if something sounds fabricated, accept it and move on.

Update: A lot of time is freed up by taking people at their word rather than spending the energy proving them wrong. Not fretting over the fact that someone may be misleading me, is freeing and even better, calming. I'm simply going to accept people at their word and move on.

Positive Living

I can choose to go through my day positive or I can choose to be negative. One makes me feel calm and happy and could positively affect someone else's day or I could be grumpy. Guess which I'll practice today.

Update: Intentionally practicing a positive outlook is helping me get through what appears to be a major downsizing at work. Not getting caught up in all the negative talk has helped me feel calmer. I still feel stress, but it's not being elevated by others fears and their reactions to the staff cuts.

Gracious Living and Positive Speech

I will practice being positive when I speak. If I make a negative comment, I will turn it around into a positive statement.

Update: I spent the last 7 days writing in my journal at least 1 good activity I had done that day. It is great having a reminder that I do kind, generous things and that I can even make a positive impact on someone else's day. It is now in my journal for me to go back and read when I am feeling down on myself.

Gracious Living - Compliment Giver

Pay 3 people compliments.

Update: This activity made me realize that there are lots of wonderful people I come in contact with daily. I had an easy time paying compliments to more than 3 people and it helped me appreciate the lovely people that were part of my day.

Gracious Living and Being Welcoming-Day 5

I am going to be intentional about saying good day, good morning and how are you to those that are acquaintances or strangers. The first time I practiced this, I seemed to have a lot of positive responses.

Gracious Living and Listening - Day 4

Today, I'm going to practice intentional listening. I will not feel the need to be wise in my response. Nor will I feel the need to respond, but rather I will focus on listening to what others say. I will look them in the eyes as they speak, not interrupt and simply give them the attention they deserve.

Update: Are you ever around people that have had bad things happen to them and that is mostly what they talk about? They have every right to vent, but it is tough to listen to over a long period of time. That was my day.

Being Gracious

Even though I am continuing to practice the gracious living activity for the week, I just had to add this activity for today. Since it is Saturday, I am heading out to go food shopping. A lot of times I have witnessed the customer at the cashier being less than gracious. The cashier is not responsible for equipment failure, long lines or others grumpiness we feel the need to share with them. Today, I will be intentional with being gracious to the cashier. I hope this can make up for the lack of grace from some other customer. If they have only had good experiences today, even better. Then, I hope to add to their pleasant experiences.

Update: My cashier was very surprised when I asked about her daughter and how law school was going. My children have told me I will talk to anybody and I've decided to take that as a compliment. I've been talking to cashiers and wishing them a good day for a long time. I've always felt that it's important for all of us to know that what we do is valued by others.

Gracious Living, Day 2 and 3

Continue the gracious living activity of writing in my gratitude journal, 1 good thing I did today. Be intentional about doing something good: smile at people, say please and thank you, say hello to strangers or acquaintances, perform a random act of kindness, be an active listener, be exquisite with my speech.

Update: Yesterday, I smiled a lot. Today, I practiced saying please and thank you. Tomorrow, I'll probably be intentional with practicing being exquisite with my speech or active listening.

Gracious Living

For the next week, write in my gratitude journal daily, 1 good thing I did that day. I'll need to be intentional about doing something good. You know the drill: pay a compliment, say hello to a stranger, say good morning to a coworker, perform a random act of kindness, say please and thank you or smile to those I walk past.

Update: Today I smiled a lot. I have to admit, I forget at times too.

Kindness

Be the kindest person in the room today.

Appreciating Our Loved Ones

Tell someone how lucky I am to have them in my life.

Random Act of Kindness

Perform a random act of kindness. My husband stopped on the side of the road to help someone change their flat tire. The person wanted to pay him and he said, “No thank you. Just do something nice for someone else.” It's the pay it forward concept. Think of something kind I can do for someone else today and act on it. Here are some thoughts: Open and hold the door for someone carrying bags. Offer to get an item off of a top shelf. Buy someone a cup of coffee, tea etc. Bring in my neighbors trash can. Make arrangements to bring a meal to a shut in. I've been the recipient of a random act of kindness from a stranger in the car in front of me paying my toll for me. That was so cool that I paid the toll for the car behind me.

Update: I gave flowers to someone I thought could use a pick me up.

Being Grateful for Loved Ones

Pick a person that is important to me. In my gratitude journal, write a list of why I am grateful to have them in my life. I'll do this for 2 days in a row with 2 different people.

Update for first of 2 days: I chose my husband and started my entry with I am grateful and thankful for .... Some of his qualities include:
I wrote a list of over 20 of his wonderful qualities. When I completed my list, I was reminded that I need to look beyond the dirty socks left laying around and the crumbs left on the counter. They are meaningless compared to all that I benefit by having him in my life.

Sharpening My Listening Skills

Let people speak until completion rather than interrupting them as they are talking. People seem so grateful to have someone truly listening to them.

Update: Listening is such an important skill to learn and takes a lot of practice. People have a lot to say and want to be heard and not dismissed. I am happy to give people a voice and to let them know I value them and their ideas. There is so much I can learn when I truly listen. I'm grateful when others listen to me and want to give the gift of listening to others.

Best Listener in the Room

Be the best listener in the room. If someone if speaking to me, then I'll put down my book, close my laptop, or stop whatever else I'm doing and give them the attention that they deserve.

Positive People, Positive Energy

Seek out positive people. Hopefully, associating with positive people will help me be a more positive person.

Update: I've been doing this exercise most of my life, whether I realized it or not. Negative people really bring me down. I feel less productive, sadder, and less optimistic when I associate with negative people. It's not always easy to dissociate from people, but this is where I am in my life. If they are not family or I don't have to work with them, then I keep my interactions with negative people to a minimum.

Negative People, Now What?

Look through the previous day's list of negative people. Try to minimize my involvement with at least one person from the list.

Update: I simply kept the conversation to a pleasant greeting and left it at that. I need more tools though.

Negative People, Negative Energy

Make a list of the negative people in my life. Think about the ways I can minimize my involvement with them.

Update: I wrote a list of some negative people that are in my life. What I noticed is that, since it was a low energy day for me, it was easy for me to get drawn into the negativity. I have a lot of work to do in becoming the best person I can be.

Life is a Joy

Remember a time in my life when I was truly happy and write about this memory in my gratitude journal.

Update: I remembered when my oldest child was born and that first day of her life. I am fortunate to have only happy memories associated with this glorious event.
This is a great exercise and I will be repeating this one in the future. I am truly blessed.

Appreciating the Kindness of Others

Think about someone that has been of help to me sometime in my life. Write about this helpful act and the person that performed it in my gratitude journal.

Update: I thought about an incident that happened when I was 17. It involved an argument with my parents about me going to college. They only wanted me to go to the college in town. I remember my brother, age 19, reminding them that I was really smart and I could be anything I wanted to be. He argued for me to be able to go to away to school (1 hour from home). He was my champion and my protector. It was the two of us against the world, or at least our parents. I hadn't thought about our close relationship as we grew up, in a very long time. I am grateful and thankful for my brother and how he supported me. I am truly blessed.

I liked this memory and will redo this exercise periodically. It was really great to recall something so pleasant from such a tumultuous time in my life. Ah, the teenage years.

Intentional Listening

Be intentional about listening to others. Give them your full attention instead of formulating a response while they are talking.

Update: People have amazing things to say when you truly listen.

Learning to Listen

Give people the attention they deserve. When having a conversation, look the other person in the eyes so that they know I am truly listening to them.

Update: Listening used to be a quality of mine that I would proudly say is one of the 3 adjectives I'd use when describing myself. I've had a hard time recently being the best listener I should be. I'm thankful for this opportunity to practice and perfect the art of listening.

Life is Great

I am repeating yesterday's activity. I forgot to do this activity until the day was half gone. For tomorrow, I am writing this gratitude exercise on an index card and sticking it in my pocket to remind myself to be intentional with noticing the good things in my life.

Update: The index card in my pocket was a good reminder for me to notice the good in my life. Being grateful for all I have is a work in progress, but I am hopeful that I'll get there.

Life is Good

Throughout my day I will pay close attention to anything that reminds me that life is good. When I notice something wonderful, I'll say to myself or out loud if I desire, life is good. For example, I may see a flock of birds on a clear winter's day, fly above. Life is good. I may smile at someone and they smile back at me. Life is good. I get or give a hug to my husband, child, parent or other loved one. Life is good.

Update: This activity should be repeated often.