Assume The Best

Last night, I waited anxiously as my daughter was lost driving home from a concert. The time to get home doubled as she had trouble finding the major road that would get her safely home. This is the first time, since she got her license, that she travelled so far as the driver. I tried a technique that I hoped would make me feel less anxious as I awaited her return home. Instead of thinking about all the bad stuff that could happen to her and her friend, I focused on the other positive possibilities: She would find her way home with the help of GPS on the IPOD touch. She would remain calm and learn that she is a very responsible, resourceful person. She would rise to the occasion.

She came home to us safe, more confident and exhausted.

I Did It

Take ownership of my decisions and my actions, rather than blaming others or circumstances for an unwanted outcome.

My Own Best Friend

A very smart person told me that her daughter was always very critical of herself. She told her daughter that she needs to start treating herself as she would treat her best friend. She would never let her best friend be so negative about herself. Instead, she would remind her how wonderful and special she was.

Stop being so hypercritical of myself. I am my own worst enemy and now it is time to be my own best friend and my own champion.

My Happiness, My Responsibility

We are responsible for our own happiness. Do not buy into the idea of bad things happen in threes or waking up on the wrong side of the day. If things are not going well for you: stubbing toes, water bottle leaking etc., then turn it around. See the humor, if possible, in the negative and flip it to a positive.

No Regrets

Is there someone, that if gone, you'd have regrets that you should have made things right between you? Say what needs to be said to this someone. If it is impossible for you to confront this person, then write what you would like to say and save the letter. Be gracious and forgive them and yourself. Maybe this will help allow you to eventually make contact with this person.

Another Of Life's Gifts

Be grateful for the beauty and illumination of the full moon.

In Appreciation

Write in my gratitude journal 1 thing I appreciate about my day today.

Saying No

Recently, I came up with a list of my values and a list of my wishes. Now that I've thought about what is truly important in my life, I will live it by valuing the important stuff and more importantly, the important people. I will say no to things that do not align with my values and my wishes.

Who Am I?

Fill in the blank. I am ______________. Write as many words as I would like.

Update: Filling in this statement was a good way to gauge where my head is at today. I filled it in with really positive words. Go me.

Speaking For Others, Or Not

I went to a meeting recently where people kept saying things like, “I know we all feel ...” or “I know we would all agree that …” I don't know about you, but I don't feel comfortable speaking for others. I know there have been lots of times when people have assumed things about me that were off the mark. When I get into a conversation where I'm comfortable that a lot of us would feel a certain way, I still would say something like, “Some of us may feel...”, because you never know.

I will be intentional about not speaking for other people or making assumptions about them.

Goodbye Grudges

Does holding on to a grudge make me happy or does it have the opposite effect? Is it adding anything of value to my life? I need to come to terms with the grudge, confront the person or not, but then let it go.

The Joy Of Doing

Write a list of my hobbies in my gratitude journal. Celebrate by doing one of these listed joys.

Oh What A Beautiful Morning

Wake up thankful that you have another day to live, be grateful, love, be loved and spread joy....life is a gift.

Remember The Joy

Write in my gratitude journal 1 thing I enjoyed about my day today.

Perfection Is Overrated

There are times when I want things to be perfect and that is when the stress kicks in. I get these feelings of let me do just one last thing or it would have been better if I had done this other thing. You know where I'm going with this.

What's the point of perfection? I need to be intentional about letting it go. That is how I will help myself be a happier, more positive and less stressful me.

For The Big Problems

What happens when incidences of extreme stress happens?: Will I lose my job?, How will I pay for college? My mortgage? My rent? Will the health test reveal something serious?

I still think about what I have to be grateful for and this helps me remember what I have and what is working well. Then I talk to a loved one and share my fears and anxieties. This usually helps me put it in perspective. If not, I go for a walk.

Stress Relievers

Here in a nutshell is some more stress relievers that work for me: Listening to music, watching a comedy, reading in my special spot on the deck, walking, writing in my journal, visualizing, painting, knitting and meditating.

For others it may be playing an instrument, shopping, swimming, jogging, going out with friends, being on a sports team, gardening, board games, baking, woodworking, or going to the movies.

What's important is to figure out what helps me decompress and then to make time each day for myself so that I can let go of the stress.

Letting Go Of The Stress

This one is for you sweetie. There are all sorts of ways of dealing with stress. From figuring out what is causing you stress and seeing if there are modifications that can be made to avoid the stress, to basic lifestyle changes that can promote a healthier you. For now, I'll work on promoting a healthier me.

For me, walking relieves stress and for others it could be swimming, running, aerobics, weight training, soccer or some other form of exercise. Next is to eat healthy. There is lots of talk today about eating a rainbow of fruits and veggies. I've read recently that you should try and eat with people for a healthier you. Also, getting enough sleep. Though I find that one easier in theory, but I continue to strive for 7 or 8 hours a night. I also think several of the activities in this blog can help relieve stress: get rid of the negative people or surround yourself with happy, positive people, relax or meditate (I'll write down a meditation technique that works for me in a future blog post and it only took about 20 years to find one that did.), and work on being a happier and more positive me.

I'll look at this topic more tomorrow.

For now, be intentional about promoting a healthier me.

Mood Change

Mood Change

Today I woke up and felt really low. Everything seemed sad and gloomy. I wasn't sure how to get myself out of my mood and be that happy, positive person that I've been striving to become. After feeling sorry for myself a bit, I decided to exercise. That turned around my day and worked on one of my top values of being healthy.

Be intentional about having a great, positive day.

Happy People

Find a happy person or two or three. Make it a goal to surround myself with happy, positive people.

Focus On What I Have

Focus on what I have rather than on what I don't have. This is part of living a life of gratitude.

Of Course I Can

Be known as a positive person. As I become more positive, I find I am also becoming more aware of all that I have to be grateful for in my life.

It Is What It Is

Start the day positive. Even if something negative happens, put a positive spin on it. A colleague of mine, to deal with negativity says, “It is what it is.” She accepts the not so great and makes it the best it can be. And moves on.

Lazy, Hazy Days Of Summer

As temperatures hit the 90s and 100s in NJ this week, I am giving thanks for air conditioning, cool basements and cool, lingering showers. The intensity of the sun and heat is also reminding me how grateful I am for vegetables, such as tomatoes, zucchini and eggplant and flowers like roses, zinnias and marigolds that thrive on the beating sun and heat.

Listen, Listen, Listen

Go into every conversation with the assumption that there is something I will learn. This should help me to not interrupt the other person while they are talking and hopefully learn something new.

Passion?

What is my passion? What makes me feel good? Can I make a career from my passion? I'm going to the library to find materials that will help me on my journey to discovering my passion.

Happiness Is Everything

Happiness doesn't always come easily. Sometimes you have to work at it to get there. Be intentional with being happy such as smiling, saying good day to others, thinking of a happy time in your life and putting a positive spin on your day.


Update: I thought this would be instinctive at this point, but I find I still have to work at being happy through my day. If I remind myself in the morning to be intentional about being positive, smiling and making eye contact with others, then the rest of my day tends to be more positive.

Wisdom From The World Cup

While watching a quarterfinal game, a commentator said something like, “Don't look back on regrets, just move forward.” That is a great idea. Let go of regrets, since hanging on isn't productive or healthy.

How Have You Been?

I realized today, that I have been so busy worrying about my job and just living day to day, that I have not made time for my friends. I have not gone out with friends, had them over for food and conversation or any other fun thing one does with our friends.

I will be intentional about making dates with my friends.

Brain Shift

Make a shift in how you think. Who cares if the checkout line you pick at the store isn't the fastest line. Instead while waiting to buy your goods, take the time to appreciate the food you are buying, the new clothes you'll be wearing, the light bulb, stamps, etc. you'll now have.