Don't Stew When Hurt

I don't understand vindictiveness. When people are so hurt by some perceived action or lack of action from others, that they do something to get even or they hurt another as they feel they have been hurt. I am at the point in my life when I want to be told if I wrong someone else. Don't let it stew as I am quite approachable. When someone says or does something hurtful, call them on it. For example: I am hurt when... I'm not sure I understand why you feel this way. I'm sorry, how can we move forward with this.